The drugs dont work
by x.AmethystCullen.x
Summary: When the love of your life is dying in your arms, can you make the ultimate choice, or wait for her to ask? Edward&Bella... Vamps. Rated M for my paranoia! One shot!


**One shot. It was just in y head and i needed to get it down. I will be finishing my other story, i just need a bit more time :) Thank you for sticking with me :) **

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"Im not going to get old, Edward." She whispered, not really looking at me. She sounded resigned.

Two months after she found out about her illness, though none of us saw it coming, Bella was dying. She never cried. She didn't even ask me to change her. Alice mentioned it a few days after we had found out, but Bella's answer was one none of us expected. She didn't even look at me when she said it, she just mumbled; 'Edward didn't want me to miss any human experiences.' Then she got up and left. She went home after asking me not to follow. I killed me to hear her say it. She made it out like i didn't care. But god, i did.

_All this talk of getting old _  
_It's getting me down my love_

"Im not going to get wrinkles. I'm going to be just like you." She still wasn't looking at me, but i saw the tears in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked, carefully. I couldn't let her hear the catch in my throat. It would hurt her more then she needed right now.

She looked so small. She had lost so much weight. Her beautiful brown eyes turned dull. Her lips thinner. I could barely look at her without bursting into dry sobs. I wanted to take all this away from her, but i couldn't even tell if she wanted it anymore.

"Im going to die young. I'll be remembered like this forever." A small smile appeared on her face. _Was she really not bothered about dying? Did she not know how much we need her?_

_Like a cat in a bag _  
_Waiting to drown _  
_This time i'm coming down_

"Baby... Please don't talk like this. You'll get better. We can fight this." I knew it was too late. The cancer had spread to her bones. She could barely move. The medication did nothing but make her drowsy.

"It's too late, Edward. But you wanted me to have as many human experiences as i could. This is the ultimate experience. The one everybody secretly dreads." I closed my eyes tight as she turned away from me. I wished so hard then that i could read her thoughts. I needed to know what was going through her pretty little head.

"Please dont talk like that. It's never too late... Bella?"

"Hmm?" She mumbled, the tablets taking effect.

"Let me change you." I pleaded, letting my voice crack. I couldn't pretend anymore.

"Shh, i'm okay." She lied. I could sense her uncomfort and pain and i felt like it would kill me. She smelled different too. Her blood, it wasn't a bad smell, just not her usual sweet, alluring smell. I knew it was the medication that was making her smell different, but it hurt all the same. I was losing my Bella.

_And i hope your thinking of me _  
_As you lay down on your side _  
_Now the drugs dont work _  
_They just make you worse but I,_  
_Know i'll see your face Again_

"I love you." I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, Edward." Her voice was muffled. She was crying. I wrapped my arms around her small form and she relaxed into me. She sighed in content, but her tears didn't stop. "I will always be here, you know, watching over you."

The way she spoke, like it was her last farewell. It reminded me so much of my mother. The way she spoke to me when she was dying so many years ago. Hearing Bella talk like that made it all too real.

"Please don't say goodbye, love. Not now." If i coud cry, her shoulder would be covered with my tears.

"But it hurts so much, Edward." She sounded so broken. I felt my stomach twist. "I just want it to go away." Her voice turned into a small whisper. She was falling asleep. "Just for a little while, please."

Once again, i squeezed my eyes shut. I held her closer to me and hummed her lullaby in her ear, singing her to sleep.

_But i know im on a losing streak _  
_'cause i passed down my old street _  
_And if you wanna show _  
_Then just let me know _  
_And i'll sing in your ear again_

I couldn't lose her. I would die without her. And that is what i planned to do, if she didn't let me change her, i would provoke the Volturi. I need her. She is my mate, im nothing without her. I couldn't help the thoughts. It was like i was drowning in misery. My beautiful angel was dying in my arms and i wanted nothing more then to stop it, but she wouldn't gve me a straight answer. I needed her to tell me. But i guess it doesn't matter anymore. I will be with her, no matter what. Dead or alive, if that's what we are.

"I love you so much, Bella. I can't lose you. I need you here with me." She shushed me again, mumbling that everything would work out, but i didn't believe her. "Bella, how can you think i can exist without you?"

"Your strong, Edward. I need you to be strong, for both of us." She could barely talk now. Her eyes were still drooping. I needed a sign. Anything to help me. My angel was leaving and she didn't want me to stop it.

_'Cause baby, if heaven calls _  
_Im coming too, just like you said _  
_You leave my life, im better off dead_

"I never wanted to get old." She whispered, painfully. "I wanted to be a teenager forever, just like you."

Her eyes closed then, a small sigh escaped her lips and her heart rate began to slow. Panic kicked in as i sat up and pulled her with me.

"Edward, please, don't." She looked at me then, her eyes pleading. "I don't want to sleep yet." Tears pooled and fell from her eyes.

_All this talk of getting old _  
_Its getting me down my love _  
_Like a cat in a bag waiting to drown _  
_This time i'm coming down_

Realisation hit me. She wanted me to change her. Her eyes slowly drooping, i shook her. She looked at me, alert.

"Say it!" I cried.

"Edward..." She was so tired. I let out a loud sob, and pulled her to me, hugging her as tight as i could, not hurting her.

"Baby, please! Ask me, I need you to say it!" I choked on my words, but she understood them. She gave me a small smile.

"Edward, please, give me forever. I want you to change me." Her words began to slur.

"Oh thank god! I love you!" I wasted no time, i pulled her neck towards me, my teeth met her neck and i bit, not getting carried away, i moved to her wrists, trying to make the venom spread faster. When i had stopped i looked at her, she was still smiling, but her eyes were closed. "Im sorry, baby." I whispered.

"I love you." _Im too late._

My phone rang that second. Alice's name flashed on the screen. I flipped the phone open, not bothering to greet her i waited for her to speak.

_"She's beautiful, Edward."_

It was all she needed to say. I let out a sob, and she appeared at the window. I didn't even hear her thoughts as she came up. She came in and wrapped her arms around me.

"Carlisle is waiting at the house. Lets go, she'll want to be in something more comfortable when she wakes up."

The joy i felt was undescribable. My angel was coming back to me!

_Im never coming down now _  
_Im never coming down no more _  
_No more, no more, no more, no more _

Three long days it took for the change to happen. Three days i had to watch the love of my life writhe in pain. Though the changes in her, you could see already. Her curves and her facial features, they were beautiful. She was beautiful. _And she's mine. _

I sat by her side until the moment she opened her eyes. When she did, she looked so confused. She sat up on her bed slowly... Her eyes gliding over the room. I tensed, waiting for her red eyes to turn fierce and for her to attack, but when her eyes found me, they lit up. She looked so happy. Her smile was radient.

"Hello, lover!" I stood and wrapped my arms around my angel and kissed her.

_Im never coming down now _  
_Im never coming down no more _  
_No more, no more, no more, no more_

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**Thank you for reading :) Reviews? **


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